Creating Confidence in Customer Service S1. E1. (The Fake Flower Fiasco)
I can’t believe this is my third blog??
Now that I’m this far into my blogging career, it felt like it was time to get serious about my content. For the last week, I’ve been doing some thinking about what theme my blog should follow. The first thing that came to mind was an advice blog, but then I remembered that most of my advice involves doordashing a McFlurry.
For a while, I couldn’t think of anything that I was properly credentialed to give advice about, but then it hit me. I have a whole five years of customer service experience. Working in retail has put me in situations that I was completely unprepared for, like COMPLETELY unprepared for. So, what if I could help others be prepared? Or at least be a little bit less unprepared?
So, if you work in retail, want to work in retail, know somebody who works in retail, know somebody who knows somebody who works in retail, or if you love me, keep reading for what situations you should expect to find yourself in and what you should do when they happen.
Today’s situation:
“These flowers are nice, right? Should I get these? Yesterday my husband and I got in a fight, a really bad one. Basically, what it came down to, is I told him he isn’t putting enough effort into our relationship. He told me I was being dramatic and proceeded to entirely dismiss my feelings. He thinks that I’m fine, and that we’re good, but let me tell you, WE ARE NOT GOOD. And he’s going to know it. That’s why I’m buying these flowers, to stage at my front doorstep so he finds them when he gets home. They’re going to be from my job saying that they hope things get better soon so I can go back to work. That way he’ll know it’s serious. Here’s a pen. I need you to write a note pretending you’re my boss and very concerned for my well-being. Make sure he knows what he did to me.”
What you should do:
Quit.
Alright everybody, thank you so much for reading this week’s blog! Join us next week for the 101 on “Did you find everything okay?”.
…Okay okay , don’t quit, at least not because of me. Unless, like, you want to?
To start things off, if you work somewhere that sells flowers, this could happen at any moment. Like literally one second you’re just standing there, and then BAM, the next second it's all “These flowers are nice, right?” I’m not trying to scare you, just prepare you.
I’m going to try and do this step-by-step.
Don’t panic. You cannot panic.
Now, there are over 100,000 words in existence, so you have a lot of options for what you could say in this note. Don’t worry, you have a seasoned professional here (me) to help you narrow them down.
First option: “I hope you’re doing okay dear. I know how hard this must be for you, I went through this with my partner back in ‘67. Tulips always cheer me up, so I hope they do the same for you. Missing your sweet face in the office.”
Note: This will only work if the boss in question is your grandmother, and also only if your customer is buying tulips. If not, consider our next option.
Second option: “F*ck your husband. You don’t deserve this sh*t. Here’s the number for my divorce lawyer. She really f*cked up my ex, and hopefully will do the same for yours. Oh and if you come into the office tomorrow, margaritas on me.”
I really like this one, but I’m predicting an 87% chance of actual divorce, so maybe not.
Third option: “Feel better!”
Short and simple, straight to the point, but we are lacking some necessary context.
Fourth option: “You better get things straightened up with your husband because your research proposal is due in 24 hours. If you don’t get it in on time, assume you’re fired and that these flowers will be coming out of your paycheck.”
Fear of dual income loss is always an effective motivator, but I’m not sure it gets across the emotional hurt you’re trying to convey.
Fifth option: “I know you’ve had a rough day, hope these can help you feel a little better.”
Probably your best bet. I would go with this one, but it's up to your discretion.
Await approval from your customer. If it never comes, pass along the task to the nearest coworker.
Practice your sleight of hand skills. This is very important for the next step. Here’s a tutorial for your convenience: https://youtu.be/pKyZttor1uE
When handing the receipt over to this customer, also discreetly hand them a couple’s counseling resource. This will help prevent the situation from repeating itself.
Did she leave? If yes, immediately inform your coworkers of what just happened. Then give yourself a moment to breathe. You did it. And now you have a cool story to tell people or write a blog about.
*Warning: Something that you may experience is a moment of anxiety about the state of your own relationship. Is this going to be you in a few years? What if you never even have a relationship so the last question will never be applicable to you? Will you inevitably be alone forever?
If this happens to you, don’t worry, I have advice for this exact situation.
Doordash a McFlurry.
Okay, that’s it for today! Hopefully this was helpful and you now have a sense of what you should be expecting after finalizing your hiring paperwork.
What should I name this blog? So far I have “Cashier tears to cheers” and “Building confidence for customer chaos”.
I guess we’ll find out. Anyways, I’ll see you next week?
Warmly,
Mahika
